the cbt dive
REAL PEOPLE, REAL STRUGGLES
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thought records from the dive
E1 My father is dishonest and consistently disappointing - Farrah
Millenials are decidedly doing life differently than Boomers and Gen Xers. For Farrah, this means working really hard to disrupt the cycle of intergenerational trauma by seeking accountablity and creating emotional boundaries in her family system. But, she’s a South Asian woman who is also trying to honour her family role to care-take for her father who is unwell. In this episode, Farrah explores a situation that activated an avalanche of sadness and anger toward her father.
E2 Muscles and my fear of being overlooked - Al
Gay men talk quite a bit about body image concerns and pressures to either achieve or maintain a particular physique. This preoccupation is about optimizing the ways they can participate in gay men's spaces, including dating and hookup culture. In this episode, we meet Al who seemingly has the body he's always wanted but we dig a bit deeper into the culture of 'never being enough' that begins with a fear of being overlooked and lands him in a place where he questions his worthiness.
E3 Big ideas and difficulty following through - Zee
Do you (or someone you know) struggle with following through on personal projects? It's really hard to have a brilliant mind and always second-guess yourself. This is the struggle for many adults living with ADHD including this week's guest on The CBT Dive. In this episode, we explore how Zee compares himself to others whose job performance and career trajectories seem linear and straightforward while he worries that his knowledge and lived experience don't measure up. The cycle of ADHD is clear: Zee has great ideas and lots of ambition but struggles in certain domains (time, organization, self-esteem); then, he "drops the ball" and feels like a failure, which reinforces his beliefs about not being good enough without having given his ideas a try.
E4 Fear of flying & processing grief - Celebrity Guest, Zoë Ligon
What is the connection between aerophobia and grieving the loss of a parent with whom you had a complicated relationship? On the surface, these things are seemingly unrelated. However, for my special celebrity guest Zoë Ligon who examines her experiences of panic while flying, we began to understand the panic as a trigger for past trauma and terror about returning to a time of compromised safety. We found some meaning in the airborne space between destinations (a kind of limbo) and began to conceptualize it as a unique site where contradictions can exist. That is, we can process the complex grief of a father who was both abusive and loving.
E5 Trepidations of being a "bottom" on Grindr - Adnan
We're so proud of ourselves for having secured rights and increased representation of queer people in popular media. But there's so much that continues to be problematic within our own communities that needs attention. For gay men, femmephobia and bottom-shaming top the list (no pun intended). In this episode, we explore what is at stake in connection seeking when gay men own their preference for being sexually receptive partners.
E6 SPECIAL EPISODE Muzzie Mental Health
In this episode, we explore what it means for Sogand Zakerhaghighi to be a visibly Muslim mental health professional living in Canada (and in Alberta specifically). We both delve into what mental health conversations look like in our respective Muslim cultures along with the value and challenges of working in communities we belong to. We talk about the need for integrative approaches to care that include but are not limited to, cognitive-behavioural therapy. And we talk about the new frontier of social media as a psychosocial intervention.
E7 The curiosity of other couples when you're a single gay man - Kareem
Being a single gay man isn't easy. Many of us long to be in relationships. We're intentionally crammed into urban centres to have access to one another and yet the dating culture feels a bit unkind. This is complicated by any mental health struggles because being able to know your needs and communicate them is a whole other skill set mired in stigma. In this episode, Kareem talks about where his mind and heart take him when he sees other couples. We explore envy, grief, and fear; and then examine the lingering curiosity which makes him wonder: am I enough?
E8 Applying for a job and hearing my mother's critical voice - Nino
Did your parents want you to be a doctor or an engineer? Perhaps they came from a place of precarity and unintentionally undermine your efforts to carve out your own path to be a creative, to freelance, to take risks. In this episode, Nino processes his preparation-avoidance ahead of a job interview. His avoidance is rooted in negative self-talk and self-doubt. But, who's voice is it? He worried he might be a disappointment, but to whom? Sometimes we subconsciously maintain loyalty to our family of origin by internalizing their critical voices.
E9 SPECIAL EPISODE: Awake and frustrated: all about insomnia
What keeps you up at night? And does a thought-restructuring tool help with sleep? In this special episode, I interview two sleep medicine specialists based in Australia: Dr. Cunnington and Dr. Trauer. We discuss what drives sleep disturbance and insomnia and behavioural approaches to support people who struggle with getting good sleep. Have a look at the D-BAS 16 questionnaire to see if you have dysfunctional beliefs that drive your insomnia.
E10 Career planning in my 40s & the grief of time passed - Phil
E11 The time I cursed at myself over a small mistake - Dawn
E12 On being the target of displaced hostility - Lori
E13 I experience intense connection and intense loss - Ash
E14 What it means for a queer woman to close the door on having children - Telsa
E15 Honouring my identity and being experienced as righteous - BrownGuyRealness
E16 Performative activism and the betrayal of a close friend - Andrea
E17 Self-criticisn as a motivator or reinforcer of low self-worth - Sebestian
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