intersystem Sex Therapy

Intersystem sex therapy is an integrative approach to treating sexual difficulties that emphasizes the interaction between various “systems” influencing your perspectives and experience around sexuality and well-being. Sexuality can certainly be about physical elements of sexual experience, but it is also about emotions, body image, gender roles and expressions, identity, values, culture, trauma, family of origin, migration, persecution, attachment styles, relationship satisfaction, technology, kink, shame and psychological safety.

The intersystem approach in sex therapy is a comprehensive method that integrates multiple dimensions of an individual's and couple's life to address and treat sexual issues effectively. Here's an explanation of the intersystem approach using the provided dimensions with brief examples:

1. Individual-medical

This dimension focuses on the biological aspects of sexual health, including diagnoses, medication effects, and the management of chronic issues that might affect sexual function. For example, a person with diabetes may experience erectile dysfunction as a complication of their condition. The intersystem approach would consider how this medical issue impacts the individual's sexual experience and work towards medical management strategies that also consider sexual health.

2. Individual-psychological

This layer examines the impact of psychological factors such as depression, anxiety, attitudes, beliefs, and personality traits on sexual function. For instance, someone with anxiety might have difficulty relaxing during sexual activity, leading to dissatisfaction or performance issues. In the intersystem approach, therapy might address these psychological barriers through cognitive-behavioural strategies, aiming to improve both mental health and sexual satisfaction.

3. Relationship/couple dynamics

This dimension involves understanding how conflict, communication issues, and intimacy problems within a relationship affect sexual satisfaction. Importantly, it also considers the influence of the asymptomatic partner (the partner without a diagnosable sexual dysfunction) on the relationship's dynamics. An example could involve a couple where one partner's low desire affects intimacy levels, prompting therapy that focuses on enhancing communication and emotional closeness to improve their sexual relationship.

4. Intergenerational influences

This aspect considers how messages and attitudes about sexuality, learned from one's family of origin, influence current sexual beliefs and behaviours. An individual might have internalized negative messages about sexuality from their parents, which could manifest as guilt or shame around sexual expression. Therapy would explore these intergenerational influences and work on developing healthier sexual attitudes and attachment styles.

5. Societal-contextual factors

This dimension acknowledges the role of societal norms, cultural backgrounds, and contextual factors in shaping sexual experiences and expectations. For example, societal stigma around certain sexual orientations or practices can contribute to an individual's sexual distress. The intersystem approach would address these external pressures, advocating for a more inclusive and positive view of sexuality and helping individuals navigate the societal context in a way that supports their sexual well-being.

By integrating these dimensions, the intersystem approach in sex therapy provides a nuanced understanding of the complex factors affecting sexual health. It offers a pathway to address not just the symptoms of sexual dysfunction but also the root causes, considering the individual's broader context and relationships. This holistic method enhances the effectiveness of therapy, leading to more comprehensive and lasting solutions for sexual issues.

clinical areas of focus

  • Arousal difficulties

  • Delayed ejaculation

  • Desire discrepancy

  • Erectile problems

  • Genito-Pelvic Pain/Penetration Disorder (GPPPD)

  • Lacking sexual knowledge

  • Low desire

  • Orgasm difficulties

  • Rapid ejaculation

  • Sexual aversion/avoidance

  • Sexual sequelae of trauma(s)

our Assessment will include:

  • History of problem

  • Sexual history

  • Medical-psychiatric factors

  • Cognitive beliefs

  • Cultural context

  • Relationship experience, quality

  • Sexual experience, satisfaction

  • Sexuality and body dysmorphia

  • Sexual and gender identities

  • Sex and gender dysphoria

  • Sexual interests and experiences

  • Sexual behaviour

  • Sexual (physical) response

  • Sexual health

  • Sexual networking (via apps)

  • Sexual negotiation

  • Sexual satisfaction

  • Sexual trauma

  • Sexual problems - emotional

  • Sexual problems - physical

  • Sexual pain

  • Sexualized drug use

  • Sex and attachment style

what else could sex therapy include?

  • Sex and relationship status

  • Sex and relationship conflict

  • Sex and dating

  • Sexual imagination

  • Sexual expectations

  • Sex and desire

  • Sex and shame, envy, disgust

  • Sex and racial stereotypes

  • Sex and religion

  • Sexual offending/violence

  • Sexuality and culture

  • Hormone regulation and sex

  • Life stage and sex

  • Disability and sex

  • Sex work

  • Kink and sex

Training Background

Rahim Thawer (he/him) is a registered social worker and psychotherapist. He developed and taught SMF 208 Introduction to Systemic Therapies and Anti-Oppressive Practice and SMF 309 Sex Therapy in the Department of Sexuality, Marriages and Family (SMF) Studies at St. Jerome’s University at the University of Waterloo. He’s been a keynote speaker at a number of sexuality and sexual wellbeing conferences. He is a Fellow at the Bonham Centre for Sexual Diversity Studies at the University of Toronto. He is currently enrolled in the Professional Certificate in Psychosexual Therapy offered by the Contemporary Institute of Clinical Sexology (CICS) based in the UK.